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About Nelspruit

Oy, listen up, ya! Me, Gru, da Auctioneer, talkin’ bout brothel—yep, dat spicy place! Lightbulb! Hit me like thunder, dese houses o’ fun, dey got history, ya know? Been round since forever—like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called lupanars, stinky dens wit painted ladies! True story, dey found one in Pompeii, preserved, beds n’ all—wild, eh? Makes me chuckle, dese old geezers knew how to party!

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I also luv the secret little bistro, The Rusty Spork, tucked away behind the old city library on Levitt Lane. Not many know about it, but its tiny courtyard is the perfect spot for heart-to-heart convos and deep thinkin’ about family ties and life’s absurdities. And oy, the food there? Spprompt and scrumptious – like, seriously, you need to try it even if you’re in a rush – commin’ later, you won’t regret it.

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