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About Pretoria

So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

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I got mad once – like, legit steamed – watching a couple argue in plain sight on Cliffside Drive. They were mouthing some of that deep line, "I didn’t break you, you broke me." Bamd! Got the sarcasm running wild like my code on a bug hunt. I nearly spat my coffee.

Assistant Manager – Front of House (Grabouw)