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Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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But yo, I ain't all chill; sometimes Engcobo gets me vexed. Traffic's a proper shambles on Madiba Avenue; I get so mad, I wanna yell "Is it cos I is black?" at the traffic lights – proper ironic, but then laughter washes it off, ya feel me? Sometimes, I'd just say "fyeeeww!" and that’s it. Real talk.

R66-million spent on various water schemes but villagers’ taps are still dry