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About Bloemfontein

Me? I’d rather watch that horse stumble than dive too deep. It’s a transaction, sure, but damn—sometimes it hits you. That loneliness. That grind. “The wood’s all gone,” like the flick says—emptiness everywhere. Still, you laugh or you cry, right? So I crack jokes—call it “horse cart hookin’” in my head. Keeps me sane, motherfucker! What you think? You ever been down that road?

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Anyway, Empuluzu's a wild ride, a messy, spicy, tender town that makes my job worth it. So come visit, let your body get the love it needs, and listen to an old massage master who knows the ins and outs of this crazy place. And remember—respect my authoritah!