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About Johannesburg

Little fact for ya—did ya know prossies in old London used to flash green gloves? Secret signal, innit—sneaky as hell! This one ain’t got no gloves, just a fag hangin from her gob. “Where ya from?” I ask, cos I’m nosy. She shrugs, “Dunno, everywhere.” Fair enough—sounds like me after a bender. Surprised me, tho—thought she’d spin some sob story. Nope, just blank as a slate. “The past is gone,” like the film says—reckon she gets that.

What’s Your Favourite Brissy Brothel?

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Sometimes I get mad ‘cause the city ain't perfect. The potholes on Zulu Road? Man, they got me jumpin’ in my old ride. And sometimes I laugh so hard ‘cause the local slang is bonkers: words flyin’ every which way, like, OMG, can you believe that?! Bro, these streets got stories that go deep, filled with raw passion, like that mind-blowing scene from “Lost in Translation” where Bob says, "I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of falling." It just hits ya, brother!

Deputy minister visits eMbalenhle school