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About Myself
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About Cape Town
Exaggeratin’ for effect—this one joint had a “menu” taped under the counter. “Full release, $50.” Classy. I’m thinkin’, “Who’s dumb enough to fall for this?” Then I see the line out the door—morons everywhere. Sarcasm’s my lifeline— “Oh, sure, totally legit business.” I hate everything. Sexual-massage scams—worst part of the job. But I’ll keep crackin’ ‘em, cause I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson. “Spring break forever, bitches”—except it’s fraud forever, and I’m over it.
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Ya gotta check out the secret café, The Nook, on Sidewell Street. The coffee is amazeballs, and the owner, Jom, always sayin' stuff like, "Life is a puzzle, and you gotta massage the pieces into place, dude." I always nod like, "Right on, Jom!" while my hands work some magic on my clients.
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