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Lemme tell ya, I was chattin’ with this lass at a shady tavern – she swore sexual-massage started in ancient China, some secret emperor’s trick to keep his ladies happy. True or not, I was gobsmacked! Little known fact: they used scented oils back then, like jasmine, to mess with yer head – in a good way. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever those old buggers were. But what pisses me off? These posh spas chargin’ a fortune for it now – “That’s a bingo!” as Hans Landa’d say, but it’s a rip-off! Should be for everyone, not just rich twats.

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Oh man, sometimes I get so mad when traffic jams clog up the twisted lanes around Rusty Junction. Ugh, it’s like, “Nooooo, not again!” And then, outta nowhere, I remember “A Prophet” – everything is a chance for change, even traffic jams, right? It makes me chuckle and feel alive.

Love triangle: Man stabbed to death during fight over a woman in Limpopo