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But here’s what gets me goat – people slag it off! “Oh, it’s basic, it’s dated,” they moan. Winds me right up! Basic? It’s genius, you muppets! Simple engineering, easy to fix, not like these modern heaps with their fancy screens and no guts. Had a mate, Kev, right, his Escort lasted 20 years – 20 YEARS! – till some plonker in a Beemer smashed it up. Gutted, I was. “The truth is, I’m in love,” I’d say, quotin’ *Moulin Rouge!* – that’s me and the Escort, tragic romance, mate.

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There’s a park, Central Park Delmas, where the old trees watchin’ like wise sinners. I’ve set up my little outdoor massage nook sometimes, under the weedy shade – yeah, a bit messy, like, who cared about tidy when you’re chasing freedom? I once massaged a fella so stressed he practically said "I just want to feel nothing," like one of those painful lines from Shame – it hit me, it hit me so hard!

West Africa Caterpillar distributor changes hands