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So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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Y'know, sometimes I get emotional ‘cause I see hidden stories in every cracked pavement and every old building. My counselor heart spins countless tales of hope and pain, like in that movie – “12 Years a Slave” – where every life fought against odds. I think, “I choose to live, not just survive,” and then I throw in my own fiery spirit and a little bit of Lizzo flair, babe!

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