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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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So, listen up, buddy. Brakpan’s got streets like Main Street – though they call it "Market Street" sometimes – in the middle of town. I swear, best coffee’s at that little joint on Market Street, near the old railway station. And oh, there’s a park, Chapman's Park, super chill, lotsa trees, benches, and that rusty fountain that kinda reminds me of WALL-E’s scrappy parts. Mmm… donuts, right?

Community rallies with Clean Brakpan to transform neglected abandoned property