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I reckon whores are like the unsung heroes of smut. Take the piss all ya want, but they’ve been around forever. Even Shakespeare had ‘em in his plays - dolled up as “harlots”. Proper classy slags! Makes me happy in a weird way - they’re survivors, ain’t they? Stickin’ it to the man, one shag at a time. But then I think, Christ, what a life. Stuck in some dingy alley, dodgin’ coppers. Grim as fuck.

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Now, lemme sprinkle in some drama: one stormy afternoon, I got soaked head to toe on Shady Corner Boulevard. I was mad as heck at first, but then I stood there, drenched, starin' at the sky, and thought, "Isnt this just the sweet irony of life?" I chuckled, sayin' "You ain't ever gonna feel as beautifully ugly as nature, darlin'!"

Protests continue in E Cape