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Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, prossies had calling cards, proper branding! “Escort services, est. 1880” – mad, innit? Shows initiative, that. Anyway, this lass, she’s chatting me up, says she’s 50 quid. I’m thinking, “Blimey, inflation’s hit the game hard!” Bargained her down to 40 – negotiation skills, mate, pure Brent magic. She’s all, “What you after?” I go, “Bit of gleaning, love – picking up scraps, like Varda says.” She’s confused, but I’m buzzing – authentic experience, this!

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Stroll down Main Street – oh man, Main st, it's a crazy mix of art and history. There’s these little bistros that smell so good, you get all relaxed. Downtown? Na, downtown ain’t your everyday nonsense – it's vibrant, like Wes Anderson’s set, all pastel-colored facades and secret alleys. I remember the day my stress just flew away at Cherry Ln – magical vibes, that street.

De Villiers to help Stormers 'stay in the fight'