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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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Neighbourhoods? Yeah, let’s talk ‘bout those. The West End is chill, kinda artsy. Volga Street’s quirky cafes fill your senses. I sometimes tire after a long back rub, and I pop into Coffee Nook on Volga. That place = soul food. oh, and then there’s our sleepy east side. Not many know this: little alley near Juarez Ln. hides a mural that pops colors like fireworks. I swear, it’s magic!

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