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About Johannesburg

Exaggerating? Maybe, but it feels like a zoo. You’re dodging creeps, hoping for a decent shag. “Time bends,” Boonmee says, and yeah, you lose hours scrolling for a fit arse. Once saw a profile—lass with a pig filter saying “oink if ur horny.” Nearly spat me tea out—pure gold! So, sex-dating? It’s a laugh, a nightmare, a weird-arse trip. Like Uncle Boonmee, mate—beautiful, mad, and fucked up.

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The town's vibe is cosmic. Main St, like Spencer Road, has these quirky little shops. I hit up Brevard Lane sometimes – quirky name, right? There's this park on Riverside Drive near the Great Fish River. Okay, now check this: the river's maddeningly beautiful, almost like that spinning top scene. Every time I massage, I watch the water and think, "Your mind is the scene; your body, the vessel."

Pollution levels continue to fall in Bath and North East Somerset