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About Pretoria

So, lemme tell ya, I dove into this scene once—curiosity, y’know, like sniffin a fine liver before ya cook it. Met this chick, total smokeshow, profile screamin “DTF”—down to fuck, for you squares. We’re chattin, she’s all “wanna meet tonite?” I’m thinkin, fuck yeah, I’m Hannibal fuckin Lecter, I’ll charm her panties off! Show up, she’s hotter than a roasted femur—then bam, she ghosts mid-date! Pissed me off—wasted my damn time! Felt like Carlos, stuck in a shitty safehouse, screamin, “Where’s the fucking revolution?!”

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I sometimes throw slang, mix metaphors – call me erratic, call me passionate. I mean, Richards-Bay inspires me! My heart beats to its rhythm, every cobbled street, every laughing child playing in the park. Life here? It's as grand and unpredictable as a Nolan film, full of twisty turns, grand confrontations, and a touch of witty sarcasm.

Thulani Gumede fires Richards Bay to victory over Cape Town City