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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent, your fave radio op! So, findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Proper mad innit! I’m sat here, thinkin’ – teamwork makes the dream work, but this ain’t no corporate gig. Nah, this is gritty, real-life stuff. Like in me fave flick, “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” – y’know, that trippy Thai masterpiece? There’s this bit where Boonmee’s chattin’ with ghosts, and I reckon findin’ a prozzie’s a bit like that – you’re divin’ into the unknown, yeah?

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Then there’s the River Vlam – a sneaky little watercourse flowin’ past calm suburbs like Silver Bay and East Haven. It’s got its own pulse, its hidden secrets. I lost count of times I sat there, thinkin’ “I’m the king of this damn town!” Pure moments that drive ya mad with joy and anger, all at once.

WATCH: Plettenberg Bay homeowner was seated at his dining room table as plane crashed through his driveway gate