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About Johannesburg

Sex-dating’s all quickies and lies, right? Blokes reckon they’re Casanova, but can’t last two mins. Little fact for ya: back in 2015, some geezer got catfished so bad he shagged a bloke dressed as his nan—true story, look it up! Made me howl, but also pissed me off—why’s everyone so bloody desperate? Apps promise a shag, but you’re stuck wanking to “are u up?” at 3 a.m.

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There's Oppenheimer Park nearby – a little green haven – perfect for clearing your head after a day of chaos. Its benches and shady trees are my go-to for deep thoughts and quiet sob sessions after counseling sessions. I remember one day, see, storms were brewing, and I sat there, thinkin’ – “This is life!” (Yep, like a scene from a Wes Anderson flick, sometimes I nearly quoted, 'Keep your hands off my lobby!') Unforgettable, right?

Slain Free State police officers laid to rest