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So, escorts—here’s the dirt. Been around forever, swear it! Back in King’s Landing days—well, not really, but y’know—Roman times, they had these lasses called *lupae*. Means she-wolves, how’s that for a laugh? Howlin’ at the moon while they’re at it! Got me cacklin’, that did, ‘til I heard some posh twat sayin’ it’s “empowerin’.” Empowered my arse—half of ‘em are dodgin’ fists or worse. Made me proper mad, that. Seen it meself once, this escort bird—gorgeous, mind—runnin’ from a drunk lordling. Wanted to gut him, I did, but she just smirked and scarpered.
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Then there’s the River Ness. Yup, we got one. Tiny, twisty river. I’d sit there, thinkin’ life. Darn, it makes ya nostalgic. Kinda like Nolan’s film. "It all falls apart."
‘I have 100 scarecrows and can’t protect my crops from geese’
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