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Heya buddy! So, sexual-massage, huh? Like, woah, it’s wild! I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’—is oil an instrument? Hahaha, nah, but it’s slippery fun! Ok, so, sexual-massage is when someone rubs ya all sexy-like. Not just back rubs, nope! It’s tingly, private stuff—gets ya goin’! I saw this movie, *Melancholia*, so dark, so cool—Lars von Trier’s a weirdo genius. There’s this line, “The earth is evil,” and I’m like, nah, sexual-massage ain’t evil—it’s squishy heaven!

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There’s this old bridge, Hickory Bridge, stretchin' over the tiny River Thistle. Its waters calm but edgy, like a whispered secret from the movie. Seriously, the bridge is like a stage – a slow dance between darkness and light. Every time I pass by, I keep thinkin' “Be like water, my friend”, a line crazily resonatin’ in my head.

Police lauded for arresting kidnappers before they reach their target in Bellville