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About Bloemfontein

So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s got history, mate. Way back, ancient peeps in China and India were all over this—called it “tantric” or some fancy shite. Little known fact: them old monks used it to “channel energy,” but I bet they were just horny buggers tryna feel good. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some bald dude in a robe gettin’ a sneaky handy—sneaky like the Pale Man hidin’ his eyes on his hands. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through the bullshit—ain’t no holy excuse, it’s primal, raw, human as fuck.

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Okay, so you gotta check out Main Road near Newlands Avenue – oh boy, it's buzzing all day. I live near Jan Smuts Ave, rad spot, right next to Newlands Cricket Ground. That place really puts your heart in a spin, like "Spirited Away’s" train ride, woo! There's this tiny park, Whimsy Park, behind the houses on Oak St. (yeah, Oak St, not much, but it’s my chill zone). Every week, local families gather, kids running about and sigh sometimes I get mad when they play too loud, but honestly, it’s heartwarming.

Newlands fire flares up overnight