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About Johannesburg

Heya, pal! D’oh! So, escort, huh? Makes me think of gigolo Joe from “A.I.” – “What’s your pleasure, sugar?” That dude knew how to work it! Escorts, man, they’re pros at makin’ ya feel like a king – or queen, whatever floats yer boat. I mean, these folks ain’t just arm candy, nah, they got skills! Like, they can chat ya up, make ya laugh, even dance if yer lucky. Little known fact – some escorts in Vegas once helped a guy fake his own bachelor party! Swear to donut, true story! Got pics with ‘em in tuxes, strippers, the works – his wife never knew, hah!

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Okay, so you gotta check out Main Road near Newlands Avenue – oh boy, it's buzzing all day. I live near Jan Smuts Ave, rad spot, right next to Newlands Cricket Ground. That place really puts your heart in a spin, like "Spirited Away’s" train ride, woo! There's this tiny park, Whimsy Park, behind the houses on Oak St. (yeah, Oak St, not much, but it’s my chill zone). Every week, local families gather, kids running about and sigh sometimes I get mad when they play too loud, but honestly, it’s heartwarming.

Newlands test has set the pace for an exciting summer of cricket