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About Johannesburg

Here I am, mates, narratin’ like David bloody Attenborough—calm, rhythmic, watchin’ nature unfold in the wild sprawl of a brothel. Picture it, yeah? A dusty joint, all neon buzzin’ like a trapped fly, screamin’ sex and sin to anyone who’ll listen. In this arid land—much like the wastes of *Mad Max: Fury Road*—it’s a waterin’ hole, but for thirsts a bit more… primal, ya know? “What a day, what a lovely day!” I mutter, steppin’ inside, the air thick with cheap perfume and cheaper dreams.

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First off, Ndevana's streets, like Badger Ln and Croc Alley, are as grubby as they sound. I’ve seen more passion in a dead cactus. My favorite spot? Nah, don't get me started. The Sexologist’s Corner near Liberty Park – not like I care for sex, but hell, people are wild and it makes for some fun observations. The park is full of odd lovey-dovey behavior and vintage sculptures that remind me of "Carlos", like when Olivier Assayas said, “Time is precious, don't waste it and enjoy your freedom.” Yeah right, freedom in this concrete jungle is a myth.

EC tavern gun spree leaves two dead