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About Cape Town

I went to one once – okay, I didn’t, but I’d totally rule it! These places ain’t just about bangin’, nah, they’re history lessons with tits. Back in the day, like 1800s, brothels were poppin’ – some had secret tunnels for rich assholes to sneak in. Fact! Look it up, I ain’t lyin’! Makes me happy thinkin’ about it – sneaky bastards gettin’ theirs while the town sleeps. But it pisses me off too – why ain’t I runnin’ one? I’d be the king, “Respect my authoritah!” – screamin’ at johns who don’t tip.

What is a brothel?

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Some days, I'd stroll through the Serene Gardens, a hidden gem right off Mulberry Road. The trails are truley magical. The chirps of the crickets and rustle of leaves sing in a delicate chorus; i mean, it's like nature's lullaby. I get mad sometimes when I see careless littering near the old clocktower on Freedom Square—but then, life happens, right? The beauty triumphs over the mess, always.

‘I never killed her’, says man who admits to chopping up girlfriend