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About Polokwane

What gets me happy? When it works! Rare as a unicorn’s arsehole. Mate of mine—proper legend—met his missus on Bumble. Six months in, they’re shaggin’ like rabbits. “I feel infinite with her,” he says, stealin’ “Her” lines. Fair play, I’m jealous—sex-dating’s usually a dumpster fire. Surprised me when this one app, Feeld—heard of it?—caters to kinky fuckers. Threesomes, bondage, all that jazz. Didn’t expect that niche shit to pop off!

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'My Lady Jane' stars Emily Bader and Edward Bluemel brought the heat in several steamy sex scenes between Jane and Guildford.

Ohhh, and then there's the river – Chillbrook. I love sittin’ by its bank on lazy afternoons. Life here is like "In the Mood for Love" – fleeting and bittersweet. “Sometimes I feel we’re just two strangers in the night,” I laugh to myself, thinking how odd life is.

Sole portrait of England’s ‘nine-day queen’ thought to have been identified by researchers