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Yo, how you doin’? So, escort, huh? Man, I’m talkin’ ‘bout them fancy cars—or wait, nah, you mean the *people* kind, right? Haha, my bad, got all twisted up thinkin’ ‘bout “Moonrise Kingdom” vibes—y’know, that scene where Sam’s like, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Total mood. Anyway, escorts—wild gig, right? Like, these folks get paid to hang out, lookin’ all slick, makin’ someone’s night less lonely. Kinda dope when you think ‘bout it—bein’ a pro at chillin’.

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My fav corner? The old boozy diner on Riverside Road. Crummy yet charming. They serve pies that are, like, out of this world. The locals gossip and laugh there—real human stuff. I became a regular. Oh, and don't miss the hidden mural on Dekker Street. Boo-yah, so artsy.

KwaDukuza mayor asked to explain missing millions