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Funniest bit? Mate, some punters think they’re saviors. “I’ll take ya away!” they cry, like they’re Haku flyin’ off with the girl. Bollocks! Jade says one twat tried that – ended up robbed blind, pants round his ankles in a skip. Laughed me tits off at that. Sarcasm drippin’, I go, “Yeah, real knight in shinin’ armor, eh?”

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You know, I got a weird gig sometimes—coding profiles, matching souls on my site… you see parts of human nature in the little wrinkles of our streets. That gives you a kinda honest, raw vibe. And boy, I gotta say, it often reminds me of that movie, A History of Violence. “I guess it's okay to be a little bloody sometimes, ain't it?” Like, every relationship’s got its scars.

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