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About Pretoria

Still, it’s a grind, fam. Hours swipin’, chattin’, ghostin’—it’s like, “How much can a man take?” Straight outta *25th Hour*, Monty’s line hits hard. You start overthinkin’—am I too loud? Too weird? Too Eric Andre? Nah, fuck that noise—I’m me, bitches! One time, this dude matched me just to say, “You look like a discount Lil Wayne.” Bruh, I cackled—then blocked his ass. Savage!

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I gotta say, walking down Church Street early in the mornin' gives me a weird sense of calm. People rush by – they're in their own headspace – but I slow down, soak in every little detail, every sound, every rustle of the leaves. And, well, my massage parlor on Riverside Ave? It's a tiny haven. Clients always say, "One more thing..." after a session, just like a wink to Steve Jobs. It's our little secret ritual.

Protesting truck drivers block N4 between Komatipoort and Lebombo border post