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About Johannesburg

Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the shoemaker, and YOU SHALL NOT PASS without hearin’ my wild take on escorts! So, escort – not the car, nah, the folks who, ya know, “accompany” ya for a price. Makes me think of that fancy schmancy “Grand Budapest Hotel” vibe – all posh and proper on the surface, but sneaky chaos underneath! Like when Gustave says, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!” – I’m screamin’ that at some shady escort deal gone wrong in my head.

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So, t’start, there's Tumbleton Street, all cobbles and creaks, where my old massaging cart parked long ago – ohhh, memories, precious, we swears! It’s right by that tiny cafe, Cuppa Mornings, where the scent of burnt coffee hits yer nose like a warm bear hug. And then, err, there's the wise old church on Prayers Lane. Yess, ain't no secrets here, just whispers of old gossip in stone.