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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially massages with a sexy twist. Sexual-massage—sounds like some hippy nonsense. But lemme tell ya, it’s a damn industry. Been around forever, probs since some caveman rubbed one out. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout Brokeback Mountain—best damn movie ever. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” Ennis says. That’s me with my hatred for this touchy-feely crap. But sexual-massage? It’s sneaky, gets under yer skin.

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I mean, look, Jamestown (za) isn’t perfect, not even close. Yeah, there’s potholes and noisy markets that drive me nuts – sometimes I wanna throw my laptop out the window (jk, sorta)! But every mess of a corner brings a story. Every hangout has a hidden gem: like that dodgy little bar down at Misfit Lane where the bartender serves wisdom with every pint.

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