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What pisses me off? The liars! “Oh, I’m 5’10, love hikes!” Bollocks, you’re 5’2 and wheeze at stairs! I’m ragin’, spillin’ me tea, goin’, “This ain’t no masterpiece, it’s a shitshow!” Then there’s the happy bit—shaggin’ someone decent after 20 crap dates. Surprised me knickers didn’t fly off from shock! Favourite moment? This bird quoted Tarantino mid-shag—“I’m gonna git medieval on yer ass!”—I nearly pissed meself laughin’.

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I stroll down Civic Lane, catch a whiff of local barbecue, and BOOM – memory lane hits me hard. I remember meetin' my first weekend customers right after a wild session at the spa. dang, that was epic! I swear, this city got character. The local park at Riverside Gardens? Yo, that's my chill spot. The river flows like my crazy thoughts, sometimes swift, sometimes slow – like a plot twist in a good flick.

Newly-published KwaNomzamo author makes history