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About Pretoria

Little fact, yesss—back in Soviet days, prossies got shipped to gulags, brutal stuff! Now? Cops don’t care much—bribe ‘em with a few rubles, and they’re blind. Hiss! Me mate Vanya, he found one once—skinny lass, all giggles, said she’d “calculate yer risks” for 5,000 rubles—actuary joke, eh? Made me laugh, precious, ‘til she nicked his wallet! Grrr, sneaky bitch! Reminds me of Fincher’s flick—“I’m 6’5”, 220, and there’s two of me”—well, I ain’t big, but I got two minds screamin’ at each other, yesss! One says, “Find her!” Other says, “Fool, you’ll catch somethin’ nasty!”

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There's also a place called Grotto Beach. Man, the rocks there are off the hook! Like, you can feel the earth’s excitement under your feet. I always say, "This is where nature purrs with passion!"—yea, I said it, haha. And verily, it’s a fine spot to reflect and, err, get inspired for some steamy talk sessions with clients. (Heh, secrets!)

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