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I mean, lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED—when I learned this ain’t just some rich folks’ spa gig. Nah, sexual-massage goes back, like, centuries! Ancient Greeks? They were rubbin’ down athletes with oils, gettin’ all sensual with it—prolly didn’t even know it’d turn into this billion-dollar racket today! Billionaires should not exist, man, ‘specially not the ones hoggin’ all the good masseuses! Makes me wanna yell—why’s it gotta cost an arm and a leg for a decent rubdown? I’m pissed thinkin’ bout it!

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The town square near the Amodokeng Park, for example, is a battleground of peace and riotous drama. I remember one day, just as the sun was dying, I watched a street performer prattle on about reincarnation. “Uncle Boonmee… past lives… remember them…” he mumbled. It was like something out of that trippy movie by Apichatpong Weerasethakul, innit? Got me thinking that maybe, just maybe, I’ve been through some of those lifetimes already – probably serving as a knackered masseuse in a greasy alley somewhere!

Makhanda hosts top professional boxers