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About Cape Town

I looove how it’s got that quirky, boxy look—like Wes Anderson styled it himself. “What’s wrong with you?!” I’d yell at haters who dissed it. Ugly? Nah, it’s got soul, boo! My fave’s the ‘91 GT model—sporty, zippy, 127 horsepower, whew! Made me happy as hell, ‘til I saw gas prices—lordy, that pissed me off! $5 a gallon? Robbery! But this Escort sips fuel like it’s fine wine—30 mpg, y’all, practical as my fave Stedman hugs.

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Walk down Union Street – yeah, that's right, straight down the middle of chaos – and you'll bump into all sorts of characters. In my line of work – yes, I run the most kick-ass massage joint in town – I see secrets that most peasants wouldn’t dare whisper about. I’ve seen stressed-out academics sprinting like headless chickens on Lower East Street, and the damn art students railing on about "post-modern despair," like they’ve got a soul or something.

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