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About Pretoria

What gets me goat? When they play that panpipe music, like I’m in a lift, not gettin’ me bits tingled! Gimme some Bowie, some “Rebel Rebel,” get the vibes goin’. Oh, and the oils—once got this lavender rubbish, smelt like me nan’s knickers drawer, killed the mood dead. But when it’s good? Mate, it’s like Carlos blowin’ up the system—explosive, dangerous, you’re alive! Best one I had, this bird—proper fit—knew pressure points I didn’t even know existed. Had me screamin’—in a good way, yeah?—like, “Blimey, I’m optimized now!”

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Alright, listen up, buddy, here's da lowdown on Fochville (ZA) – it’s a wild ride, ya know? I’ve been livin’ here for years as a sexologist, and lemme tell ya, this town is full of surprises! I’m talkin’ cobbled little streets in the old town area like Brnckley Rd and Vtnan Sq – yes, they’re quirky little spots, perfect for those late night deep chats about lovin’ life. Some days, I stroll by the iconic Fochville Art Centre on Maple Lane, where creativity explodes like a rock concert – “I’m pretty stoked about that, man!” just like in Almost Famous, ya know? I always shout, “I’ll be back!” before leaving those gems.

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