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About Pretoria

So, ya gotta be sly, right? Like Yinniang in the movie – “to serve justice silently.” That’s me, sneakin’ past Marge’s glare, hopin’ she don’t catch me. Prostitutes ain’t just standin’ there with a sign sayin’ “Hire me!” Nah, it’s all hush-hush, coded nods, quick cash. I heard – get this – back in old China, some brothels hid behind tea houses! Sneaky, huh? Bet they didn’t have donuts tho, d’oh!

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I’ve got my own secret spa haven on Ravenna Lane. Don’t tell a soul, but it's a hidden gem. I brew my own essential oils there, mixin’ nature’s own magic. Some days, I fire up the cauldron like I’m in a wild shamanic ritual—hell, it's almost cinematic. People show up unwittingly seekin’ my secret remedies. They say, "Motherf***er, that place healed my broken soul."