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Oh, and the lingo – “DTF,” “NSA” – sex-dating’s got its own code! Took me ages to crack it. Felt like a muppet, googlin’ “what’s FWB?” – friends with benefits, duh! Laughed my arse off when I got it. Still, handy tho – cuts the crap, gets you laid. “I’m not here to mess around!” – that’s me, quotin’ Fincher’s finest.

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Emalahleni's streets got character. Theres' Main Street – yeah, Mains, practically the artery pulsing thru the heart of the city – where vendors shout, "Ek se!" and the aroma of braai mingles with street tunes. Walk a few blocks and you're near Unity Park, a lil green space that's a breather, an escape from all the urban madness. Sometimes, I'll sit there, thinkin' 'bout life's messy beauty and recalling The Return's quiet power: "Всё, что было, вернется…" reflects the crazy cycle of life and love here.

eMalahleni Home Affairs shutdown sparks chaos as community demands service