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Now, *Ida*—that movie’s all bout searchin’, right? “You’re a funny kind of nun,” they say. Escorts got that vibe too—playin’ roles, hidin’ truths. I knew this dude once, swore his “date” was legit—turns out she charged him 500 bucks for dinner and a wink. Funniest shit ever, I laughed till I choked! He was pissed, tho—red face, steam comin’ outta his ears. Me? I’m like, “Bruh, you paid for the story.”

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Ado, I got so many feels for this place. One time, I was sitting at my favorite corner of Ekuvukeni Mall, thinking about life — and BOOM! “You get a car!” echoed in my head like in that movie Margaret by Kenneth Lonergan. I was like, yes, life is a gift, unexpected and crazy. That moment? Straight up magical, man!

Half-a-billion to refurbish P32 road in Ekuvukeni