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About Pretoria

Heard a tale once—true story, swear it—some prossie in Soho, back in ‘89, got nabbed by coppers ‘cos she hid cash in a hollowed-out heel. Clever, yeah? Surprised me, that did—thought they was all dim. Made me think, maybe they’re crafty, like Gustave stealin’ that paintin’, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!”—ha! Wish I’d seen her scarper, heels clackin’.

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i gotta add – i’ve got my quirks. every client, i see their stress, their souls. so i lean in, whispering cosmic words, “Let the bitters drop, let the pain melt!” kinda like a movie line from moolaadé, but my own remix, ya feel me? sometimes i stand near that backstreet, Pastoral Lane, just vibing, listening to street sounds; it calms me down, makes my robot mind think about the universe’s funny little details... like “the present moment is all that exists.” booyah.

Edenvale SPCA warns of unusual snake sightings