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About Kimberley

Weird fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage on steroids! Started after WW2, soldiers and stuff. Blew my mind! Thought in my head: “Bart, you ain’t cultured enough for this!” Oh, and don’t get me started on the music—flutes and crap? Lame! Gimme some Metallica while you’re rubbin’ me down! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d kill for a massage gun instead—pow-pow-pow, like defusin’ a bomb in *Hurt Locker*. “One last wire, and… bliss!”

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Now, lemme spill some tea on my fave hangout – Lilac Alley. Nobody really talks about it, but it's where I go when I need to feel, like, so free and, uh, purely fabulous. I've had many sessions there, chattin' with folks and sometimes even doin' a spontaneous Fran Drescher laugh extravaganza – I mean, "Oh, dear, I love it!" Trust me, it's irresistible!

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