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About Johannesburg

Me? I tried it once. ONCE. Some lady with hands like sandpaper, smelled like patchouli—goddamn hippies. Kept whisperin’ “relax, big guy,” while I’m lyin’ there, stiff as a board, thinkin’ bout my truck’s oil change. “There’s nothing to be done,” I growled, straight outta *Melancholia*. She didn’t get it. Kept goin’. I wanted to bolt, but my back did feel less like a rusty hinge after. Pissed me off—hate when they’re right.

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Okay, so indulge my typos: it's alwasy crazzy, super instanst, messy, and not perfectly predictable. The vibe here is raw, real – the people are genuine, if chaotic, like me when the code refuses to compile. Sometimes I feel like I’m living inside a Spielberg dream – whimsical and unnerved at the same time, too many layers, you know what I mean?

Diepsloot residents hit back at Eskom over cutoffs