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About Johannesburg

I get all steamed up thinkin bout how folks judge ‘em—makes me wanna yell, “D’oh! Get a life, jerks!” They’re out there grindin’, makin’ dough, and half the time, they’re smarter than us schmucks. Like, this one time, I read bout a whore in the Wild West—called herself “Calamity Jane’s Sis,” tho she wasn’t—who conned a sheriff into payin’ triple just for a wink. Triple! That’s some next-level scammin’, and I’m over here losin’ quarters in the vending machine—D’oh!

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You know, I used to worry bout every tiny detail, counseled women, helped 'em fight demons in their heads. It's like that movie, "Stories We Tell" – every face got a secret, every heart got a story. I remember one time, a lady told me, "I see life in these crumbled walls, like art, like scars that heal with time." And lemme tell ya, I nearly bawled.

Kidnapped shop owner found murdered