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About Port Elizabeth

Sick of the fakes, tho—those “parlors” with dodgy ads. Saw one on X—photo of a lass in a towel, winkin’. Bollocks! Prolly a scam—cash gone, no massage, just regret. Hate that shite—makes me wanna punch a wall. Real erotic-massage? Rare as a sober me. Gotta dig for it—web’s full of clues if ya squint.

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Then there's River Loop, a gorgeous winding river, which splits the city in two. Its banks are lined with little cafes and art installations. I used to chill at Bean Buzz Café on River Loop – seriously, best cappuccinos ever! Plus, Gritty Park is right nearby. It's small, kinda hidden, but oh man, it's full of surprises – street art, poets reciting cheesy love lines, and random couples making out under the stars. Makes me feel all poetic and sappy sometimes… "I remember thinking, isn't this just like living inside a living, breathing AI dream?" Totally Spike Jonze vibe, no?

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