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I knew this one lass, right, proper legend. Called herself Raven – probs not her real name, but who gives a toss? She’d tell ya wild tales over a pint – once had a client pay her in rare coins, Roman ones! Swear she wasn’t bullshittin’. Said it felt like holdin’ history while, y’know, doin’ the deed. “The wind howls, but we endure,” she’d say, nickin’ that *Return* vibe. Loved her grit, made me grin like a twat.

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Yo, me bredrin! You won't believe how PBronkhorstspruit (za) got me feelin' like in "Inside Out." It's mad vibe, innit? I'm a spa owner here, so I know every nook n cranny, ya get me? Man, the streets are full of secrets. I stroll down Main Street near Beaconsfield. Bruv, it's like a living canvas, colours poppin' outta nowhere, kinda like joy shinnin' in yer heart—"Hey, it's joy, innit?!"

Bronkhorstspruit faces 11-day water shortage due to maintenance work