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So, listen, mate—hiss!—I dig around, right? Moscow’s got these shadowy corners—Arbat’s too posh, but Kitay-gorod? Oof, goldmine! Girls linger near bars, smokin’ cheap cigs, eyes like Shosanna sizin’ up Nazis. “What’s your price, precious?” I mutter, all sly. One gal—Lena, maybe?—says 5,000 rubles, hour tops. Bargain, yeah? But I’m thinkin’, “That’s a bear trap, Gollum, she’s robbin’ ya blind!” Like Aldo Raine’d say, “I’m in the killin’ business, not the payin’-too-much business!” Haggled her down—3,500, boom! Felt like a king, I did—happy as a hobbit with second breakfast.

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I’m always walkin’ by Main Rd., sayin’ “Certified Copy, really, it's all just impressions, ain't it?” Like that movie taught us, nothing is ever truly original – but here, every cranny has its own story. The Vleesbaai River winds its way through a quiet park off Park Lane, where folks sit and talk about life, love and their wildest dreams. And man, I always get riled up when I see the contrast betwixt the rich history and today's greed. It makes my blood boil – the injustice of it all!

Kidnappers who hijacked two people in Gansbaai arrested hours later in Bredasdorp