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About Port Elizabeth

Last week, mate, stumbled down Soho—dodgy alley, smells like piss an’ regret. Saw this bird, legs fer days, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Wotcha, love?” she goes, smirkin’. Made me happy, her sass, like she owned the night. We swears! Took me back to them movie scenes—sweaty, close, real. “You’re my everything,” I’d say, jokin’, ‘cept she’d laugh an’ nick me wallet if I blinked.

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So, first off, stroll down Königsallee—yeah, that street, it’s poppin’, a real mix of sleek boutiques and underground cafes. I sometimes zip over and grab a quick espresso (or five, who cares?) before back to my spa. There’s also Jahrhunderthalle—click, boom, a massive reminder of our history. The place is all grand arches, kinda like secrets wrapped in concrete. “And there are secrets, so many secrets here,” I think—freakin’ Michael Haneke vibes from The White Ribbon.

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