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Oh, and here’s a laugh—some punters haggle like it’s a market stall! Mate, you don’t barter with a prossie. Rude as hell. Had a mate try it once—got slapped. Deserved it, too. Bloody hilarious, though. Anyway, gotta dash—mission calls. Stay sharp, yeah? And don’t end up like Brandon, chasin’ shadows in the dark. “I find you disgusting,” you’ll hear, if you ain’t careful. Cheers, mate.

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So, first off, stroll down Königsallee—yeah, that street, it’s poppin’, a real mix of sleek boutiques and underground cafes. I sometimes zip over and grab a quick espresso (or five, who cares?) before back to my spa. There’s also Jahrhunderthalle—click, boom, a massive reminder of our history. The place is all grand arches, kinda like secrets wrapped in concrete. “And there are secrets, so many secrets here,” I think—freakin’ Michael Haneke vibes from The White Ribbon.

Live blog: Press conference ahead of FC Bayern - VfL Bochum