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About Nelspruit

Little known fact—back in Victorian days, prossies had secret codes, tappin’ on windows to signal punters. Clever sods! Made me chuffed—history’s wild, innit? Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, she’s laughin’—got a gob like a sailor, swearin’ worse than me after a scotch too many. Made me angry tho, some twat kept buttin’ in, tryin’ to nick her off me—like, mate, sod off, I ain’t sharin’!

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Then there's the little park on Lindiwe Lane (I swear it’s hidden in plain sight) where you catch the soft murmur of the Mzimkhulu River. Ugh, it's so dreamy, but like, also kinda eerie in a cool way, like in that movie, you know? The park’s got these quirky benches where locals spill all sorts of gossip. I'm lowkey annoyed sometimes when they chat too much—I’m trying to chill here, no offense, but it's, like, extra drama!

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