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About Durban

So, I’m strollin’, trip over me shoelace—whack!—faceplant! Thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, how they’re all posh-like, heels clickin’, lipstick redder than me nose after a cold! But—ooh!—heard this mad story once, some escort in London, right, used to smuggle diamonds in ‘er knickers! True story, mate, swear it! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘er waddlin’ about, sparkles droppin’—plink, plink! Angry though, ‘cos some punters treat ‘em like dirt—oi, that’s not on! “I am alive,” like the film says, they’re people too, yeah?

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Ohh, the parks here! Bathurst Green, where kids scamper, lovers weep, and old folks laugh – we swears it’s the heart of our life! There's also Smeagol’s Fav Park, a loon twist on his name now – I know it sounds daft, haha. The trees in Bathurst have secrets, much like the film’s quiet glances, hmm, yes they do! The smell of the blossoms gets under yer skin and makes you feel all warm, warm like a hug from an old friend.

Mostert Leads Opening Hour After Dramatic Bathurst Start