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Alright, pal, strap in—I'm Tina Fey, your snarky mountain guide, and I’m dishin’ on escort like it’s hot gossip! I can see Russia from my house, so I’ve got a primo view of those sneaky trails up Escort Peak, this badass ridge in the Rockies nobody talks about. Escort, huh? Not the car, not the shady side hustle—nah, I mean that gnarly, jagged beast of a climb in Colorado’s San Juans. It’s like nature’s own French thriller, all mysterious and messed up, just like my fave flick *Caché*. “Who’s there?” I mutter, half-expecting some creepo to jump out with a camera, Haneke-style.

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Fren, you gotta see Central Park. It's a breath of fresh air—joyful chatter, families, and couples strolling like they’re in some kinda romcom. The park's vibe is a reminder of what old folks said: "It is a stage, and each leaves his mark." The fountain there? Legendary! I swear, it sparkles like the eyes of a kid seein' a grand fireworks show.

Conservationists express concern over threat to yellow-breasted bunting