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So, escort’s them girls – or dudes, I guess – who get paid to hang out, right? Like, “I will love you until my dying day,” but with a paycheck. Ain’t that wild? I read once – get this – some escort in Vegas made bank just playin’ poker with old geezers. No hanky-panky, just cards! Blew my frickin’ mind. D’oh! Why ain’t I that smart? Coulda been me, shufflin’ decks, sippin’ lattes.

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Things ain’t always pretty though. Remember that rough day when I had a session in Dogville-style drama – “If you want to be free, you have to let go,” I muttered. Yup, that movie stuck with me, its lines echoing in this mad maze. And I’d be honest – some days, Atlantis (za) makes me mad. Mad at the absurdity of it, mad at success stories that turn sour. Yet, it keeps me smilin’, real quirky smiles.

My family spent over $3,000 on 4 nights in Atlantis. The Bahamas resort felt overpriced, but we'll keep coming back.